I was honest enough to stay true and open a letter (scheduled to be read on) for the 11th of April. Thankfully, in my new work, I'm already loaded - as in doing productive things - so I had time to distract myself from a letter itching to be opened.
In other news. I turned 26 the other day. If my 25th year was spent on conquering fears and pushing myself further, for my 26th, my mantra is: "If I need to think of a reason not to do something, then I should probably do it. Minimize excuses." Just do it in short. Or the tagalized version, Go lang ng Go.
So, hey! It's me. Thank you. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to craft up something personal. Thank you for the presents. It's not often that I get such sweet surprises. I was asked by someone what I like about you and it took me some time to answer. I thought of your face, your eyes, your lips, your everything - and the only answer I could come up with was, there's just this chemistry. It's not explainable in the sense that it's not quantifiable nor qualifiable for me. It's either that - or I'm just not good with words when it comes to you. Or perhaps, I was being guarded by nature.
I like the fact that it was easy going last vacation. No stresses. We just jelled. I was myself, and - I assume - you were yourself as well. It didn't feel "pilit" or forced - it didn't feel like anything else other than just right. Adults.
We must have enjoyed ourselves too much, we missed out discussing the important things. Or maybe, we consciously avoided the topic? I had it in mind to bring the topic up - but forgot to. My opinion on the matter is, I like where we are, but would love it even more if there's no L.D.
But my experience from #2 tells me to hold on. I seriously feel that it's a selfish decision on my part if I ask for the big C - when I'm halfhearted on the L and D. I'm also afraid from putting any pressure on both of us. I fear it might spoil whatever it is that we have.
And, yes, as for my 26th year mantra, there's no excuse for me to back out and turn away. The prospects of L and D are daunting. But, that's why I'm threading lightly and carefully. If we are both in agreement that we are happy with whatever it is we have and are satisfied, then we can wait before we push the envelope.
I don't expect anything as of now but a continuation of what has been started. We are young - and as you have said - we have ... to figure it out.
Hey, you. See you.