CH247: No Regrets. No Turning Back.

"Earlier after the shower I felt like, this is it! I'm going on a big adventure! There's so much to be thankful this year and it can feel overwhelming but all I can feel is just be thankful about everything! :)"

As I'm typing this in the Singapore Airline lounge, I realize that I'm not leaving Singapore with a heavy heart. This is what it's like to have lived an experience without regrets. This is what it's like to have lived life. This is what it's like to make the most of what life has to offer.

I embrace my leaving Singapore to go to my next adventure with a humble heart. 2014 had its share of ups and downs, but all the experiences have made me a better person. There really is so much to be thankful for, my life yes tear up thinking about them! I guess this is what it means to feel overwhelmed...bittersweet!

So last night, I booked a suite at the Marina Mandarin for my going away party. It seems vain to be hosting one, but I wanted a party not to celebrate my leaving but more to get the chance to see the people who have made my stay in Singapore a memorable one.

Thank you Angelo for organizing much of the surprise and to Jon for the video that made me cry not because I was sad but because I was dearly touched by it. It doesn't happen often that I cry in front of a huge crowd, but who cares! :) I don't often show how vulnerable I feel, but in the company of the people I shall treasure memories with, I guess there was no better time to cry.

Pictures!

And this happened :))

Keep loving life everybody! Xoxo

CH246: Last Full Weekend

My friend from Dublin who I met in BKK is right, numb best describes how I'm feeling at the moment. Stephen also went through the same process prior when his stay in BKK had to wrap up and go back to Dublin.

Numb. Taking on each day as they come. He says I'll never really feel any sort of emotion until the moment I am in the plane and realize that everything really is happening. It's more surreal than trepidatious I guess - to be about to experience the things I only read other millenials write about - quitting job, traveling and moving.

It's still like any other day. Last night though, was worth remembering. I watched hunger games mockingjay part 1 with Ange and Jon.

And then we went clubbing. :)

And for the last time, had supper in Maxwell after all the dancing!

Fun night... I hope to see you guys in Sydney Mardi Gras! X

CH242: Shifting Perspectives

There is only exactly 1 month (31 days in this case) before I fly back to Manila for a few days - then my adventure in Europe begins ... continuing it to the US then back to Manila for what I would say, my longest stay in Manila since coming to Singapore...before I eventually fly off to the land down under.

Nothing much has changed I guess on my end with regards to anticipating and feeling excited. Being excited for Europe, Australia,and everything is at the back of my mind. Before I flew with my ex before to London, I was accused of being nonchalant about the trip and the experience. I only felt excited the day before the flight. I guess, it has to do with not feeling so high only to feel low when it doesn't happen or push through? Is there logic to that? Right now, I've been busy with work. I work in a secure site as well and access to internet is restricted - no smartphones allowed for external staff - so yeah, work.

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To some of the people at work who learned I would be resigning or that I have "tendered" (the verb I've been hearing around), after hearing that I will be moving to Australia, their first question is so you've found work? And it sort of became redundant and feeling a bit like a broken record to say that no, it's too early to look for work at this time since I will be taking a break from working.

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One friend of mine messaged me several weeks back: "Wow! I'm really surprised you're leaving Singapore considering how well you are doing there."

So what's the point of this entry? With my answers and how I went about this exit from Singapore, it made me realize that, there seems to have been a shift in perspective. I've had 4 projects/works here in Singapore in the span of 3 years 10 months. Prior to that I had 2 jobs in the Philippines in the span of 2 years 9 months. In Singapore, my reasons for changing jobs were job security, higher pay, better package, more stable, better working environment, challenging, etc. But now, there's simply no reason at the moment for me to take this break...this sabbatical before I fly off to Sydney...other than because I want to so I will.

Whatever happened to the old me concerned about all the reasons I listed down to justify changing jobs (which were all on a contract basis i.e. not permanent or regular)? I'm guessing (as I'm not 100% sure yet - only time will tell) I just got tired of partying, traveling, working and just making money and just living the Singapore life. I feel I'm ready to settle down (not get married) but to really set up roots in a place I will fall in love with (with or without someone else - that's a different matter haha). There's no anger or resentment with Singapore for not giving me PR the first time I tried or with the companies I worked for - for not offering regular employment. I feel like I'm leaving Singapore because the adventure has run its course (a lot earlier than I had planned which was to stay for at least 5 years), and for me to stay longer will just chip away the hopes I have of achieving the dreams I dream of. So, despite the luxuries and comforts I can accord myself here, I don't think I'll ever truly be happy knowing I can be happier and live my dreams elsewhere.

It will be sad to leave very good friends in Singapore. It will be scary to make the transition and starting over. It will be down right terrifying. But, I've let go and I am letting go. Right now I'm free falling with indifference, straight faced. I sometimes feel people may think I'm not that excited to leave or travel when I answer because I don't answer with as much enthusiasm as I should. But it's still a long way to go...i haven't even thought about whether from this free fall, I'll crash or hit the ground running.

CH238: Travel 101

Budget. Budget. Plan. Organize. Prepare.

I was up till 5am earlier this morning planning accomodations and transpo for my upcoming sabbatical.

God! New York accomodations are so expensive! Peak new year?!

So now I'm at the beach. After soaking up some sun, I wrote down all my expenses so far, forecasted expense, cash inflow and current liabilities. I'm a little stressed since the computations include my family's vacation which messes things up a bit.

Que cera. I shouldn't be so stressed since I decided to move out most of my money to Australia for when I migrate so that's a safety net. I just have to stick to my budget and plan accordingly. Plus! After sending IRAS (tax authority of Singapore) an email last week, I got my assessment last Friday and that's been paid for. One liability out of the way. Right now, let me soak up more sun and just worry about being without money some other day!

CH237: Life's a beach

[Update] The hotel manager of W Hotel just called me to inform me that they have found my wallet in the lady's toilet. :)

Life's a bitch. My wallet was stolen last weekend at W Hotel. In the span of 10 minutes from when I last saw it...boom. Gone.

I think it was the veuve clicquot champagne that made me impervious to the dangers of a theft. Oh well

I've moved on from the loss of some money, my Mont Blanc card holder, 1 ATM, 2 credit cards, fitness first membership card, Starbucks card and Singapore IC. I watched Fight Club the same evening and as Tyler Durden said "The things you own end up owning you." So, que cera.

I've moved on to dreaming of getting this one which is currently out of stock Except in MBS.

Or I'll just make do with the other Mont Blanc wallet my ex gave me and buy the Prada in Milan when I go in December.

CH236: A Packed Weekend with Friends

Saturday started off early with me needing to come to the west of Singapore to attend a gym class - Body Pump with Ange and Jon. Last Saturday was different in that Jon couldn't come to Pump because he was out drinking late! (He's got drinking problems. LOL JK. He's so behaved. NOT. Now Jon has become ambiguous and let's leave it at that). They went to the gym around 1pm to attend the Body Combat class which I skipped for swimming. We were joined by Jon's friend Lara.

Planking pains.

Swimming.

I got back home to a house party hosted by my lovable housemate and fag hag Louisa. She cooked pancit, kwek kwek and squid balls! She even concocted her own mix of dipping sauces ala Manong Fishball!

She also ordered a cake called Choco Leche which had a chocolate cake base (super moist!) and a Leche flan top!

Soon after munching, I retired to my bedroom to try and take a nap. But after devouring 15 (a conservative estimate) kwek kwek pieces and cake and ... Lol lets not enumerate, I was pretty much tired from waking early and gym. I couldn't sleep though! I had a dinner meetup with former work colleagues to catch up. So soon after I just went to get ready and danced in the shower to my favorite tunes care of spotify premium! I find that it's an effective means to wake up and shake the sleep off - shower + dance music and karaoke lol.

After the meetup with colleagues, I went to meet Ange and Jon and friends for the Singapore night festival. Although I only saw the exhibits in SAM and the bit of the night festival they had at the facade of SAM. The group went ahead without me to see the other night installations while I caught up with former colleagues.

After which, you might have thought I went back home to sleep. NO rest for the wicked! We went clubbing afterwards. Lol. I met some friends Louisa and Ivan in the pub beside the club and went back dancing - coming out back and forth as other friends came into the Pub lol.

Finally got home around 5am, showered then slept. 5 hours later... I was awoken by my alarm for brunch! Paella brunch at Pasarbella!

A very delicious side of honey roast pork and crackling roast pork! (Combo cost 15 dollars. The paella + chicken + iced lemon earl grey tea was 20 dollars).

After a filling meal, we went to Botanic Gardens for a picnic. We bought wine, and since I was feeling generous and wanted to celebrate the 10th monthsary of a couple friends, I bought us cupcakes!

As soon as I got home, I just had to charge my phone, wash my face and then go to Novena to attend mass with Ange and Jon. They came by my place to have a taste of the squid balls and pancit and the delectable cake after mass! Yum!

It might be taken as strange for me to attend mass, but I do believe in God. Just not religion and I feel closer to God in a place other people consider a place of worship - which since I don't believe in religion may not be entirely what I believe in. But I wanted to find the quiet and space to thank God for all the blessings that he's given to me, my family and ... Well other private conversations :)

I had squid ball in my mouth lol. That's not the new way I smile.

And then after that, I helped clean up, watched a bit of tennis (US OPEN 2013) while waiting for my laundry to finish. I hung up my clothes, ironed my shirts for the week...and now I'm typing this entry in bed while waiting for sleep to come!

It was surely a packed weekend! Looking at the transitions in between each happening, I only had time to freshen up! I couldn't ask for more though. In the company of great friends, food, drinks, art, I couldn't really ask for more. 3 months from now and a few days from this writing, I'll be off to Manila for a few days before my travel begins around Europe then US! I'm so happy to have met these real people in Singapore. There are others of course who I may not have managed to get around to writing, but well, I just figured myself #blessed (I couldn't resist the pretentious hashtag lol) that I have these people in Singapore I can be myself with and just have fun #nodrama. Some people may not have the same luxury of the kinds of friends I have and for that I'm thankful.