Friday, October 31, 2008

CH20: Official Press Release

[migrated from livejournal]

Board exam results are out.
No. I didn't pass. But I didn't fail either.
I'm in Board Exam Limbo. Hahaha.
Conditional Passer.
Tally of results:
Math: 92%
Electronics: 76%
Geas: 77%
EST: 68%

My exam average is higher compared with the results of some people...I decided by myself to get. Hahaha. Of course, you have to create a benchmark for things.

So there. By a matter of 2%. Even though there has been a transmutation of grades...I wasnt able to make it.

Sad. yes.
Reality Bites.
When you have been so used to being on top, well, God has His way of making you see things in a new light. And apparently...This is the case.

At least, I only have to retake for 1 exam.
Maybe God took my prayers seriously when i prayed, that he let those people who are most deserving to pass. Hahaha.

Here's a narration of exactly what happened.
Thursday before board exam, I was suffering from a fever. Cough got me. So I was sick with headache on the days of the exam. But, it's not really an excuse. Although, it played a part, such that I was not able to review saturday...and I just slept through the whole day - till next morning. Hahaha. Luckily, my mom woke me up around 6 - because, I was sure that I wouldnt have been able to wake up then.

So...what to do now? Well, my dad told me: "Dapat, kung saan ka nadapa, duon ka babangon."

But, I'm not sure if I have enough guts to actually retake that exam. "Grabe. Ginapang ko talaga sagutan yun." And, I still feel defeated. Perhaps, it's a case of me losing my mojo. I'm afraid right now that if I took it again and fail, then I will have to retake the whole exam all over.

Thank you for everyone's support during the course of the mini ordeal I went through. Hahaha. It's not really funny when you don't see your name in the result list. Heck, it's not funny at all. I was at the point of questioning whether I was stupid or something.

BUT. When I saw the results...hmm...not too bad. It turns out I only got 4 mistakes for math. And, math is my basis for intelligence. For EST...well, a lot of questions were trivial.

So there. my official press release of what happened.
I didn't pass. I didn't fail.
I'm in limbo.

Not such a fun place to be in.
But, on a lighter note...Base on my research...Board passers last April, got an average of around 83% (in Top ten).

If I was to make it in...Well, it could be possible...If i do really well for EST.

What ifs what ifs. I've had enough of What ifs.

The only real thing that remains now are the following:
1. I am still thankful to the Lord with all the blessings he has given me and my family. Not really more on material things...hmmm...well, maybe most of it. But, given the financial crisis all over the world, I'm happy that we're not really feeling the effects of things right now. I'm not particularly happy that a lot of people are losing their jobs around the world...But then again, this is life. Reality bites.

2. I am happy that even though I was not able to pass...I didn't exactly fail either. He may have his own plans for me.

3. Faithful friends who are behind me all the way. Their support has been instumental.

4. A decent job with decent pay. Thank you. I would not be able to afford the things I want and love without a decent job. Hmm..."gumastos pa ako after the exam...sayang. Sana pala hindi nalang hahaha." After the exam, I decided to buy for myself North Face slippers, treat my mom to heaven and eggs, buy my mom Skechers sandals. Hahaha. I love spending money. But, I love saving money even more. Haay. If only, my safety net cash will grow more. It has not been accumulating for the past 2 months.

Now, life goes on. I'm not yet sure if I would take the board exam again. That's still in the works. But redemption is a game I love playing. We'll see. We'll see what happens. 

But what I know I should be doing is getting on with my life. There's really no more use for sulking now that I know where I should be heading (the road of the rich and famous! hahahah). Yes, I'll admit it, I sulked wednesday and thursday. Well, cut me some slack, I was slapped really hard by God. "Masakit siya."

PS: To my office mates who I think I'm taking Glut. NO. I don't take those kinds of supplement. I don't like being to radiantly white. (It attracts kidnappers. Hahahahaha. Just kidding.) But no, seriously, I don't take met ("hindi yung drugs at hindi yung pampaputi"). Heck, I don't even know why people want to be white. I love going to the beach and getting dark.

That's all.
Congratulations to all those deserving Electronics Engineering Board Exam takers who have passed! =) No more envy here. I'm good to go.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

CH19: Shift in paradox

[migrated from livejournal]

now, one of the things I am not really sure I like about myself is my indecision on certain how I'd go for one thing then change my mind about it the next. I get bored easily...

So...what has reviewing for the boards given me? Well, except for information overload. I actually am feeling like or as if I am enjoying my studying...for the if only the pressure of passing was non existent, then, the review may actually be fun!

So...what shift has occurred? Well, now I actually am seriously considering taking graduate wireless networks...that would involve firmware engineering. Hahaha. Luckily, I don't have any bond with hp. So...when I feel like the time is right, I can actually bail strings attached. The only prolem I have with that I would need 20-30k monthly salary to maintain my preferred lifestyle. That's not too much when you think about how expensive and first world like things are in the philiipines. And besides, Im monetarily self supporting...

I believe, my being or feeling like an elitist has great influence in this. I don't want to be like everyone else. I want to be more. I want to be different. I want to excel in things not everyone can. I get my fix in that. Why try to be ordinary when you actually have the potential to be extraordinary? Hint hint. Well, I can be extraordinary in hp... But there are already a lot of extraordinary people there. I need a niche to excel in. Also giving consideration that I want to build be a pioneer of some sort.

Pursuing grad studies was also motivated by the fact that I got a personal invite from doctor Que...well, the email body seemed general enough, but given the fact that it was a private email..and he said something like, they feel I am more than qualified...that i am the best possible candidate for grad studies and they believe I have the right attitude for grad studies (? Hehe)...well he also said that there are only 45 erdt scholarships available.
Could the said email have been sent to 45 people or more? Hahaha. Feelingero at its finest.

Maybe I am just being delusional...the only thing holding me back from accepting the offer right here and now is the board exam and that the second sem is not too far away...and the close ties I've already made in hp...and the money...and the uncertairy of finding a job suited to the grad study I was referring, studying outside the country has taken a backseat. Although, the universities outside are higher in ranking and possibly - no, quite actually - more high tech... If the Philippines needs to create a better statistic of grad students produced...well, it would be an honor to be part of the count...

Or, again, I may just be delusional.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

CH18: 56.25%

[migrated from livejournal]

 That's about the estimate of what I've already feel like ive finished.
Here's the break down:
85% electronics

  • studies based on excel textbook bought. reading through sample questions, and tackling about 1000 questions (from 3 chapters of the 3001 question booklet)
  • What's left? Chapter 6 of the textbook - biomed, robots, internet, etc. That should take me more less 4-5 hours.

80% mathematics

  • studies based on amount of topics reviewed from the handbook / 1001 questions. Covered mostly the basics. What's left? Differential equations, integrals, volume and surface areas (based on functions rotated over whatever axis)
  • what's left? 5-6 hours of reviewing the basics and question familiarization (solution based). The 4-5 hours should be inclusive of the other math related geas questions
40% geas and 20% est.
  • No comment. The only thing left for me to do is...pray. hahaha. For geas though, my plan is to review again the basics (the ones found on the right and left side of their questionaire book).
  • for est...well, a lot of formulas left to be memorized, hopefully, i finish the book (text book to cover ground).
it's less than a week away.
Lord. Please find a postpone the exam! Hahaha. No, just kidding. That's just going to prolong the agony - which I don't want to happen...

Now...if could buy a way out of this mess. Hahaha. I wish I could afford though - if it was indeed available.

In desparate need of prayers and moral support. You can text me at ... hahaha. no just kidding. but seriously though...

PS: memo plus gold...squalene - don't fail me now. I'll spread the word of your effectiveness..if it indeed works. I'll even apply as your spokesperson...for a tv advertisement...whatever! (is it me or does this sound desparate?)