Saturday, March 25, 2006


[migrated from livejournal]

We all have stories to tell.
I have mine. 
Stories of betrayal would most likely be the most intriguing.
And the most likely to be of interest for some people.
Some people have told their stories.
I have told mine to a certain few.
A few, I believe, is a number that's more than enough.

I thought that I have moved on.
But lately, I am not sure if I truly have.
I thought that maybe the will to forgive arose just because I feel that it is indeed time for forgiveness.
But is it really?

"Betrayal is the only truth that sticks."
I learned this after going through the experience twice.
Mathematics dictates that two is not much more than one.
Two is a number that's more than one by one.
But figures such as this matter little.
Circumstances dictate that two is more than enough.
Much much more than one, really.

I have said, "Forgotten but never forgiven."
Is it all about angst and bitterness?
I am not sure.
Do not trust me because I dont know well enough.
How can you forget when the fact is, you cannot forgive.
Trivial matters.

How I wish my heart was not as empathic as it is.
Really, this fact is one I am sure of.
The heart that forgives easily is a good heart.
I have done that once.
But paid the price.
I accepted the punishment.
I have moved on.
I tried to make my heart cold from betrayal.
I thought that it was hard as a rock.
Well, that's what I thought.

I am held back by something.
Something I still can't let go.
I cant tell you though.
I don't even know it myself.

People have stories.
But only a few are able to tell theirs.
I am not ready to tell mine to all.
Does that make me less of a person?

Or maybe
Some stories are not meant to be told.
Some secrets are best left unsaid.
But are my stories secret?
I shall decide.

But as of now.
The stories I have.
Are mine alone.

--time to study for eee23. But first, I should be taking a bath now. I stink of smoke.
--I feel rather complacent lately for the eee23 exam. I hope it is not doom looming around the corner.
--The doom I refer to is over confidence. That's something that could kill you...academically speaking.

Matters that are of interest:
1) I want to buy myself a hardbound copy of Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. I think I will enjoy reading it again. I read it before in gradeschool...or was it highschool...cant remember. But I believe it did not make the impact it should. So...does anybody know where I can find a good hardbound copy?
2) I will go to the Alumni Homecoming. I've reconsidered things and thought that...heck, I should. But not only that...but also because, the theme was to be different! Hahah. Am I being too shallow? I guess not. It just fits in. The theme of being different I mean.
3) I want to be affiliated to UP arise. I had this concept that once I finish my term as the finance committee head, maybe I could participate in UP arise activities...or maybe even become the president lol. Why Arise? Maybe because, their ideals are best fit with mine. And, I could grow better in ways like social activism and things like that. Arise = Alyansa?
4) Poetic narration. hahaha.


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