Sunday, August 12, 2012

CH113: Roots

What roots you in this world?

As the bus to Port Dickson drove on, I saw trucks speed by on the other lane. And I began to wonder, what keeps those truck drivers in line? Thoughts of Hollywood highway chase scenes came to mind. After all, a nutcase behind those wheels could do serious damage for fun if he/she wanted to.

I realized, it's their family (-ies given I was in Malaysia :-) ), the mouths that they need to feed that keeps them hostage-d to stick to doing what is right.

But I don't have anyone depending on me, so what's keeping me in check?

Unfortunately, what I realized was that the same thing that roots people to possibly do good, can be what drives them to evil. On our way to Port Dickson, we were unfortunately duped by the conductor. We told him we needed to go to Seremban, but the bus was going to KL, so when I realized, we were already way past 30 minutes the expected time of arrival, I asked the driver where we were going, and I was told KL. I told him we were supposed to get off at Seremban, and we were dropped off a gas station beside a highway.

Fortunately, with the comfort of technology, despite the communication barrier - we were able to contact the hotel to give us a contact for a taxi pickup. And, to make the story short, we were picked up in style in a Benz in the middle of nowhere!

What's keeping me in check then?

The first thought that came to mind was reputation. Or rather, it's more appropriate to say - what roots me is how people perceive me. My family. My colleagues. My friends. I know, I said before that I'm pretty much over living up to anyone's expectation or being a people pleaser or caring about how other people think of me. But, it's the first thing that came to mind - so maybe, it's complicated to explain, but there's a truth to both caring and not caring.

I care enough to make sure that whatever I do is what I think is right and what other people would think is right for me to do. But, don't care enough when I be who I am and act how I should act - despite how some people would have a different opinion on the matter.

Let's say for the work aspect, aside from reputation, there are some aspects like going up the corporate ladder. The greed for success is what's pushing me to be better - but in that aspect, competitiveness sometimes overcomes the desire to do what is right. In that aspect as well, the greed itself and sometimes to the point of avarice, is what's negative.

So, what I'm thinking is that what roots us can result to both negative and positive outcomes. It's a matter of personal decisions (and maybe upbringing) that differentiate the outcome between good or bad. A double edge sword let's say - and how it is used depends solely on the wielder.

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