Some dirty laundry has to be brought to light in order for it to be aired out and actually worked on. It may be so that some people may say you are not deserving of me, but right now, for me, it doesn't matter what they say, what matters is what I believe and that is I love you. it's only natural and right to be ashamed by your actions and behaviour. that means your human enough to feel guilt. that means you're feeling sorry for what you did and that's a good point to start moving forward.
they are also the same friends who encouraged me to have "fun" while I was away in the US because you need not know according to them. They are 3 of my friends not representative of all of my friends, but you take your friend's advice with a grain of salt. What's important is that in the decision we make, we decide for ourselves and not let other people severely influence the decision - because if it was an influenced decision - that may result in regret. One thing you should know with Filipinos is how we are easy to forgive and forget. So, they won't think of you as that somebody who's not deserving of me, they think of you now as somebody I am fighting for and love.
If I will be out there having fun, I will lose track that what I really want and need is love - so no, i beg to differ. I've had my share of fun before I met you and it didnt feel as real as what we have and share. I felt hollow. I felt weak that the only thing I would go out there for is s*x. I didnt want to be disillusioned anymore on how it was easy for me to get s*x - because that disillusionment can cause a slip and put myself at risk.
if love was this easy, then everybody would have their happily ever after.
i believe you can change for the better.