A disease of vanity.
As a friend of mine who recently visited Singapore told me: (paraphrased) Once you get into the grind of losing weight and building muscles, it will never stop anywhere where you're satisfied. There's always going to be extra fat to trim off, there's always going to be loose skin that feels like fat that needs toning. There's always going to be that extra kilogram to lose.
Yes, I've been tainted...
You will always find yourself imperfect. You will always find the need to better yourself. You will become consumed with the obsession that if other people are able to look that good, so can you. You will lose yourself in the process on your journey towards self perfection. And at the end of the road when you're but all tired and nauseated from the efforts you've put in, you stare at the mirror and realize, where has this journey brought me?
Riding down memory lane. I just downloaded Sugar Ray and The Corrs - backtracking the 90s. The video above is one of my favorite songs from the Corrs - Little Wing. I'm not sure when I started listening to it - maybe college, but it was on loop - and it was then my "emo" song. I like how the song evokes a sense of freedom. Freedom is almost always happy. But the lyrics and the melody for me, feel juxtaposed - sad freedom. So, for the next week or two, bye bye Nelly - hello The Corrs.
In other news, my New Zealand visa was approved. Quite fast I should say. I didn't expect it to be approved last Tuesday. I was expecting it around Mid-August or late August. From the visa, I should visit New Zealand (just to activate the visa) by January 17, 2013. And from the first visit, the 9 month count to find a work to upgrade the visa to Silver Fern Practical Experience visa starts. Anytime within the time frame of the Silver Fern Practical Experience visa, I could get the skilled migrant to residency visa - or if fortune may have it, my employer will sponsor me under the smtr visa. But that's looking ahead.
Right now, my plan is to leave Singapore not later than April. The earliest time to leave - is before I fly off to LA for my sister's wedding - so that's around October. But that's only the backup scenario should my leave not be approved. Afterall, I only have 2/3 earned leaves by then, so the rest will be salary deducted or unpaid. There are other things to consider - which is why I haven't really contemplated to what to do - there's the contract with Singtel and Starhub for my mobile and mobile broadband. There's also my True Yoga membership which is set to expire around July 2013. But, I can sell the membership to a friend at a bargain anyway.
To say the least, I'm just happy that there's a backup plan to Singapore now - which should soon transition to the actual plan. Whereby, Singapore then becomes the backup - and the wish would be Europe. But as I said in an entry before, I need to set base first - and I think New Zealand is the right place. In New Zealand, I should learn how to cook, volunteer in a non-profit org, adapt a more active lifestyle (hike/camp/kayak?) or maybe even cycle! So many things to look forward to when I move to NZ. But, there are so many things I'll also leave behind here in SG - great friends, luxury, dragon boat, blah blah blah - which is partly why I haven't really formed any concrete plan because it's sad when you think about the things you'll have to leave behind.