I've been pretty much a wreck the weeks leading up to last Thursday - July 17, 2014 when received news (email) that I've been granted my Australian Permanent Residency.
I've been losing sleep. Each buzz of the phone, my heart skipped a beat thinking that the notification was for the email that I've been anticipating since I submitted the last of the requirements needed of me (Singapore Police Clearance). I mean, there's always the 50-50 chance that it could be granted or rejected, but it was a bit hard when your mettle has been configured to anticipate the worst to soften the blow of seeing the reality face to face that you were denied the visa.
As the days dragged on, I had to find a different outlet to keep my mind preoccupied and shake off all the negative energy clinging to me as my mind started settling on the idea that I was already denied the visa. I ended up writing Forlorn and Despair.
Weirdly enough, as soon as I received the news, the hole I've been digging in my mind was filled up. And all the negativity was banished, but the elation, as much as it was, soon dissipated. Poof. The next thing I know, I am faced with the anticipation of goodbyes, leaving good friends, leaving work, leaving Singapore and going off to Australia to start a new life. The next thing I might be facing are the struggles of finding employment, adjusting to a new life, etc.
The excitement should build up the closer I get to the date I'm planning to leave Singapore. I will become more confident and excited as surely and slowly as my plans fit together.
The only things I know for sure I want to happen:
Dec-Early January = Visit to US
New Year = New York Times Square Ball Drop
January 17 = Cousin's wedding (which my mom insists I make time for so she'll have someone to drive her and accompany her)
As much as I want to go to Europe, it's still constrained by budget considerations. I hope my best friend gets word on her Austrian visa, so I'll know better whether I want to go to Europe or not . The problem with Europe is the entry to US will be through New York so it does affect the schedule based on geography.
And this is my current reality - planning something irrelevant to the big step I'm going to be making soon (soon as in less than 6 months away). Escaping the reality of the hardship I might face in Australia by planning a vacation in places that could go sub zero. Winter...I've never experienced Winter.