CH222: Unshackled

Bangkok has done wonders! The people I met during the recent trip have done what I thought was the impossible.

CH220: Missed
CH221: Mai Pen Rai!

If I should be honest - my last relationship officially ended sometime December last year. The exact day, I can't even be bothered to remember. From that time till now, we've been friends. It was hard to pull off a move on when those threads of emotions tug you back to the realms that are all too familiar and common. It was harder when in the back of your mind, the hope, that faint glimmer of hope voices out that if I continued waiting, then things will eventually get back to how things were. Despite eternal rationalizations that it was a relationship built on loose foundations that grew toxic but was ignored out of *cough* "love", I couldn't fully "Let It Go." - sorry for the Frozen reference.

I was always telling myself that time will pass and things will get easier. But I couldn't decide whether that was a time I'd look forward to seeing or not. Even when I was in Barcelona, Madrid and Lisbon - despite the numerous gratification and 1 vacation fling, it wasn't enough to really ditch that hope residing.

Fast forward to before my flight to Bangkok, and I confessed to my ex about exactly how I was feeling, and that I wasn't saying those things because I wanted a change of heart from anyone, but I did so because I need to let it out and be done with it. And, now, coming back from Bangkok and with all the experiences I had and the romance I experienced, it's like, "Wow, what a difference a weekend can make."

If I fell in love that hard in my relationship, and had good and bad moments, scary moments even as some close friends know, it just comes with living. Those are experiences that have shaped me and perhaps will shape me further in the future, but it's all in the past. I enjoyed being single in Bangkok. It allowed me to meet new people, new friends, and even previous acquaintances.

I'm not sure when I'll be ready to fall in love again, but I know that when the time does come, I'll know better. Like Paloma Faith croons, it's the sweetest pain. Painful, but worth it. So for now, I'll just enjoy things as they are and worry less about this aspect of living life. #maipenrai

So....Bangkok May 23-25 tickets booked. Anyone want to come along :) I'm going there with someone though ;)