[migrated from livejournal]
"If it's going to be a rainy day, there's nothing we can do to make it change. We can pray for sunny weather, but that won't stop the rain."
I know now what my problem is. I'm over-analytical.
Thinking processes can be controlled. If they can be controlled - then they can be studied and understood.
Emotions and feelings can be controlled. If they can be controlled - then they can be studied and understood.
This is why 'Death' is something I will never fully understand and appreciate. It's not something I can comprehend (yet). It's not something I can control. Thus, the presence of something uncontrollable is something I fear - more so, when I know that it may never be controllable.
The consequence of even trying to comprehend death is not something I wish. By wishing to learn more about death - would ultimately mean experiencing more (directly or indirectly - family or friend or friends of family and family friends) for case studies.
Behavioral patterns are controllable - they tend to be - more often than not - predictable. But in the presence of death, it's not something I wish to take on so lightly - as to ... ascertain ... that it is predictable. Because by treating such case as so, may end up making me inhuman - insensitive and less of a friend or family.
To mourn with someone - for someone - is not something I am used to yet. It's not something I wish to get used to. But it is something I know I must feel and experience.
Because, to mourn in the presence of death, is what makes us - human.
I offer my condolences to the family and friends I know who are going through this sad experience of 'death'.