Wednesday, November 28, 2007

putek! masakit! + perspective

[migrated from livejournal]

putek. ang sakit sobra ng ulo ko! ewan ko ba kung migraine to or what. pero kanina pang 7 to eh. siguro kulang lang sa tulog or pagod or what. pero hinde!!!! ang sakit eh. di ako makatulog sa sakit ng ulo ko. nag paracetamol na ako at lahat lahat walang epek! putek!

1. ang sakit ng ulo ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. undergraduate student/research project - whatever. going well so far. the more intense programming is coming up. i hope this headache is not some prelude to getting sick. - but hey, exhaustion and stress do cause such effect.
3. heroes has become - boring. here's what i think about's like a tagalog telenovela. the protagonists are just manipulated by antagonists. maya = sylar, adam = peter, suresh = bob....etc. boring. prison break is way better - too bad they're on hiatus.
4. no more u

update ulit:
-yey! lumipas na ang sakit ng ulo ko. hahaha. 
may nagym sa akin...mas okay na raw sakit ng ulo kesa lbm.
my answer:
"mas okay na lbm. at least yun pumapayat ka. hahaha." -> i eat chocolate or candy basta matamis para mawala ehehhe.

i have gained a new appreciation for my family. well, it's more of the ideologies that drive my family, my being bunso as well as the "unplanned family planning sort of jamboree"

---first off, id just like to share. im not sure if i have mentioned it before in this blog. but my mom once told me (candidly) that I was not expected. - no need to elaborate on that - but if you need me to paint the picture further - my mom stopped using pills - and then - my dad comes home from his trip abroad - and 9 months after (a few months after edsa revolution) - i exist. (and so - I digress)

--So, then, my brother is 9 years older and my sister is 10 years older. due to this family structure, i have enjoyed the fruits of everyone of my family's labor. being bunso and all, well, it has it perks. So, thanks to everyone of them, I don't think I have ever felt the pincers of poverty. Although, it is with great thanks to God that my siblings are doing really well with their of them, the comfort by which my mom and I live is more than dad and siblings work abroad...only my mom and I live in our house....oh, add to that number our 3 existence for a 3 storyhouse townhouse (there's a difference in size right? a th is smaller than when you say a house. well, by my standards i guess)...and my mom works din...and we have our 2 - little condominium units in mandaluyong being rented...

--So, I know, with the structure of my family (may it be intentional or not - please refer to 1st bullet hehehe) I have been given so much to be thankful for. But, aside from the privileges of being well supported, i think i may have taken a lot of things for granted....But, I have come to realize, that the privileges I have....out of all of them, the thing I realize most important now, is my privilege to have a choice and a perspective by which to see those choices for what they are

--Being bunso, the only one that needs to be supported...the only one who needs allowance, the only dependent person in a family of 4 hardworking people, yes, i may have been spoiled...but I did earn it by doing well in the things they fund me for (education) - so I guess that's a good trade-off....bring honor to the family = perks. So, because of all the said things, I am really grateful for my family for there they put no pressure on me. Although, before, I have been pushed to think that - the pressure of UP was far too great. (GO FIGURE. - BANNED na siya ngayon =p). No pressure to find a good work immediately to be independent and start working for my parents retirement. No pressure to do really really good so that I wont have a hard time finding a good job. No pressure at all. Only encouragement to excel.I was such a fool to think that before, that they werent being supportive. They are, really.

--Because of everything, right now, my life is really how I wish to paint it to be. With a few words of encouragement, to sway me for the better....well, that wouldnt mom and dad wish me to pursue my MS....although, quite promising...I still have my doubts...the feel to get away from the academe is still encroaching itself. CHOICE. The greatest privilege i have inherited from my family....the power to choose for myself the life I want to live.

-------------------So what do I wish people pick up from this?
-Well, we have all been put in our own places and family for a purpose. It's not a matter of chance and who's having it easier or not...or whatever. We are where we are for a purpose. And it is in line with that purpose that we gain perspective - our individuality - our sense of being. It is quite enjoyable to observe actually. To think that everyone is going through their life to understand that purpose(s) and realize who they are and what they are meant to be. 

-and that however privilege in life other people may seem, they face different challenges from you. Money, privilege however you wish to call it, is not a "constant" in life's equation. As an example, for my case, the challenge is to make the right choices in life and live up to it....well, that may be kind of general, but what I was comparing it against is for somebody who has no choice and the path is already laid out for him and the challenge is to overcome the adversity that one encounters along the way,...

-different people, different challenges. I guess, what should be the same for everyone is the fact that life goes on...and we must all move forward.

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