CH184: 27 and Still Impulsive

Last Wednesday, I was day dreaming about going on a vacation for the coming (possible) long weekend on October here in Singapore. I got disappointed quickly trying to find good fares to fly off to somewhere.

And then I thought, why not go the weekend after so fares might be cheaper. And so, one hour after going to Siem Reap crossed my mind, I breathed in and out and booked flights from October 17-20 via Singapore Airlines. It so happen I can use some miles to pay off some of the cost and I got about a discount of 100 Singapore dollars for 10000 miles or so.

So, yeah, I booked a solo trip going to Siem Reap in the back of my head thinking I want to go there backpack style in preparation for one of my bucket list to go to Europe backpacking before I turn the big 3-0. (Which is less than 3 years away!!) I'll have yet to see though if I can pull it off haha. I have already contacted private tour guides to bring me around for my short stay in Siem Reap.

Aside from Siem Reap, what other happenings have been going on in my life? Well, I also impulsively booked for an appointment to get a 64 GB Gold IPhone 5s the week before this. I initially just wanted a 32Gb model considering the 64Gb iphone 5 I had was under used in terms of memory specs. I don't play as much games as I used to - although right now I'm hooked with Infinity Blade 3 and just spent about 50Sgd to buy the game and some in-app purchase (yes, out of impulse still). I got the 64 one for the 5s because I just wanted to get it over with and not have to bother myself waiting for a 32Gb to be available. Plus, I did promise my brother my IPhone 5 after my Mom urged me to upgrade before once there was one available. :)

I must say after getting my 5s that its so beautiful. :) I don't mean to exaggerate but having played the boundary pusher Infinity Blade 3, I must say being aware of tech to some extent, that a lackluster spec will just not do to have the same fluidity I was experiencing in-game.

That aside, my friends and I went out last night for drinks. It was an awesome night just chilling and relaxing and having fun. We also met a new friend - who coincidentally is also named C. He's CR. And of course, following the narration...

27 and still impulsive. Might I mention I also bought this concrete ring from Taiwan (22design studio) because I wanted something tangible to enact the learnings I have been reading from Dale Carnegie's book (How to make friends and influence people).

I highly recommend the book. Although it may seem common sense to learn, it's very well written with a lot of examples cited from famous people's experiences. I started reading it and to be honest, I had a glimpse on what possible solution there could be for the experience I shared over at my entry CH182: Mature Insights.

CH183: Bipolar

I was chatting once with my friend Bien on how some people tend to be bipolar on twitter. Some people who are unexpectedly chatty can be quite reserved and quiet in real life. And after a recent conversation over twitter, it got me wondering if I was the same as well. Although, I'm quite sure I'm as noisy as I can be on twitter, but being lewd online or in private conversations with friends...hahaha i'd like to think it's not the persona I carry throughout! Or am I being in denial?

From conversations on reserving an iPhone 5s...

To the use of lubrication! Hahahaha

Okay, I'll zip it. That was of course just meant to be a joke. A mature joke. Not meant for kids! Green jokes can be fun when in an appropriate discussion, right...right?

CH182: Mature Insights

And the truth of the matter is, you can only keep trying to make something work. But at some point, you have to realize that love does not conquer all. That at the end of the day, life is as real as it can be. The fantasy called love is beleaguered as life is. You have to realize and see for yourself that some people are just not compatible together. Some people can try and try and try and try but never make it work. Then, that's the time you have to accept, this isn't working anymore. And then, you look into yourself and the experiences you went through - and you analyze where you, the other person and the both of you went wrong.

I'm quite analytical to the point of over analyzing. I feel quite okay with coming to this ending. I had troubles letting go many times because during those times, I couldn't quite accept - not that its over - but more because I couldnt accept ending something I didn't know or understood why. My mind was thinking - if I can't understand something, then there should still be a solution to solve the problem. But, I have found my closure in understanding why and how a relationship can and has failed - and that some solutions to problems don't exist (much like math). I do know my shortcomings - whether they were existent even before or brought about by circumstances not written in this blog, I don't know.

What matters is I know on my part what I did to lead to this ending. Knowing my mistakes paves way for better chances of making the next one better and last. My initial fears of ending it because I didn't want my giving up to be a precedent to giving up too easily in the future has become myth.

The arrangement may have been over. But, now "it" really is. And I can't say at the moment whether I regret anything. I'm trying to keep moving forward on this road I am after it was decided that both embark on separate paths. If before when I look back, I keep seeing CP there at the crossroad leading me to do a 180. Now, when I look back, I see no one; so i forge ahead knowing full well that if i keep going the distance, the farther I go, the less likely I'll ever want to turn my head back around to see whether there's still someone at the crossroad waiting.

Sometimes, it just doesn't work out.

CH181: Applause

Music
My housemates must be thinking: "Man, hasnt that guy gotten sick of hearing the same song?!" Well, I can only hope that they're not hearing it through closed doors - but I've been playing Lady Gaga's Applause from YouTube ALOT!

I am a fan of Lady Gaga for reasons like, she's the Madonna of this generation (I'd like to say I'm still part of that generation) despite being in the late 20s haha. I like the evolution in her music and approach to present it to her fans. Although, this song in particular is reminiscent of her tunes from The Fame album. The Fame Monster and Born This Way had a darker and edgier tone to the music.

Given that I have limited exposure to American modern art, her reference to Jeff Koons is a bit lost on me. Although, some people have likened her approach to melding art and music to someone like Andy Warhol, when I think about it through my limited exposure to art, I feel she's more Jackson Pollock (i.e. his drip painting style) where the approach Lady Gaga takes is quite considered. Considered in the sense that there's order amid the chaos of presentation. And you have to appreciate the thought behind Lady Gaga as a persona and the body of people behind it to assist the person create and execute the persona.

Profile Picture
In a different form of applause, I just got my fix of applause with Facebook likes for a change of profile picture. LOL. Although, I'd like to put out the disclaimer that I didn't change it to get attention - I simply changed it because it has been drizzling the whole day in SG, and a summer post on the beach seemed highly inappropriate. (Note: I've played Applause 7x at this point of typing this haha)

Work
Regarding work, in relation to the song, I feel like the reason why I get bored so quickly with work is because the ones I've gotten so far since coming to SG does not really give me the opportunity to shine. Shine in the sense of being challenge and not shining in the sense of getting attention for the achievement. I think I'm at a point in my life where I challenge myself to please myself and not others - well, I guess it will just be a plus to be noticed.

But, I'm not sure at the moment whether it's just me, or it's the actual work that's the source of the *eye-roll* boredom. To explain this further, I hear a lot of people say they're stressed from work, etc. But whenever I get asked, I'm more like, "yeah, it's okay." The safest answer I could give without giving too much away. So, the point of contemplation is, am i expecting too much challenge to be presented? I mean, yes, I should be thankful for the relatively stress free work environment and relatively easy work load - but is it easy only because it's me and how I make of it? That if other people were in my position, they'd be like, "oh i love this job and how it's challenging me?"

Or then again, I could be falling under the stereotype of the 20 something people who are not satisfied with the job they have. I feel though that I am successful compared to my peers, but I don't feel like I should be resting on my laurels just because of that. I want to keep pushing the boundaries. But at the moment, since I'm new at the job (just turning two months), I think I should stop bickering and find other things to preoccupy myself and actually enjoy and appreciate where I am at.

Family
And, hahaha, I nearly forgot to type it in, I'm an uncle again! My sister in law gave birth to my niece earlier today. Welcome to the family Ysabel Patricia! ;) (clap clap clap). So excited to have heard the good news and the safe delivery of baby Ysa. My nephew Yoshua will be a big brother now. Would be interesting and nice to see how he grows up. And, from the looks of it, the siblings look very very similar during birth. Yay to good cute genes! :) Although, I hope there wont be much of any sibling rivalry considering how close their birthdays are. September 9 and September 26.

CH180: Phantom of the Opera

Last Friday, my best friend from the Philippines was supposed to come over for a short weekend in Singapore. She signed up for a Citibank credit card which entitled her to redeem free round-trip tickets. Unfortunately, there was a mishap with the arrangement and she wasn't able to get on her flight. She only realized about the mishap when she was already in the airport (late from the usual Manila traffic).

What happened? Well, apparently, she got charged with some amount relating to travel tax or airport tax on her credit card. She thought it was an unauthorized transaction and panicked and had her card blocked and the charge disputed. In turn, after all the brouhaha, she realized at the airport when she missed her flight that, that was why her booking got cancelled. No use pointing the finger though :).

So, with her cancellation, I panicked because I had to find someone to go with me and purchase the ticket and come along with me. Thankfully, my friend Angelo was available! :)

How did I like Phantom of the Opera? Well, it was amazing - but not Wicked amazing. Wicked is for sure my benchmark for theater/musical productions. For both productions, I was not familiar with any of the songs nor the story. But I found (still) Wicked to have moved me more (to some tears during Defying Gravity pre-intermission, and at the end). Whereas with Phantom of the Opera - despite two glasses of Chardonnay I had, when the emotion was finally building up with the Phantom's drama sequence - the show ended. I thought there would have been 5-10 more minutes before it ended - but end it did.

To put in perspective the songs/soundtrack, etc of Phantom, I'd say, Wicked will have to be #1 overall. I like the tracks of Les Mis more than Phantom. Although, this is not to say it was bad. But I think my taste for music is not as refined (yet? maybe hahaha) as to appreciate the soprano's vocal acrobatics and Opera-like singing.

In terms of the costumes, set design, props etc, I'd say, it was really impressive. It gave of an authentic Parisian-grandoise vibe. As I posted on my timeline, watching Phantom only reinforced my desire to see Europe before I turn the big 3-0. No particular reason really for the before age hahaha, just making sure I have ample time to actually save and accumulate the necessary resource for funding.

If you can watch Phantom of the Opera, I'd still say go go go! One can never have enough exposure to musicals, theater plays, art, whatnot. Don't just nourish your body with food and gym! Nourish your soul!Hahaha. Not! But, yes, I think, watching musicals culture and enrich us to be our better selves. The same way I believe the same for books and reading literature when time permits.