Monday, November 3, 2014


I ----
Your personality type: INTJ (turbulent variant)
Strength of individual traits: Introverted: 12%, Intuitive: 24%, Thinking: 13%, Judging: 31%, Turbulent: 6%.

After Friday night's Halloween themed HOHOL (hang out hang out Lang) with friends, the following day I found myself wanting to just stay in and do nothing.

Rather than do nothing, actually my housemate hosted some friends over our place where she served turon (a Filipino dessert). But aside from that, my plans to go to the gym have been set aside to do nothing more and nothing else. It seems I found myself in a perpetual state of introspection as of late.

The other day, I found myself thinking that it seems the only attention I like getting is the sort laced with sexual tension...I didn't host a party for my 28th birthday but decided to go to Europe instead. There's a lot of things going on at the moment, admittedly, with work and planning for sabbatical. I haven't really thought much of how big a move to Australia is. Maybe I just don't want to think so far ahead of the worries I might and will probably face. My emotions are in a rut and it seems the only thing I can find worthwhile to escape this hollowness is through sex. Not so good hearing it said out loud not seeing it written down.

I was reluctant to host any sort of going away party for when I leave. The idea of hosting a celebration to commemorate my leaving seemed alien to me and rather felt narcissistic to some extent. But on a last minute decision while I was on a booking spree for some train rides I needed for Europe, I decided to book one as I don't really know when I'll see again - the people I invited.

It has a lot to do with my personality type I guess. Rather than spend the last month I have here in Singapore - getting drunk and partying, I've gone on auto pilot to introspect and reflect the life I lived here the past 3 years 10 months. There's so much to digest my mind just shuts down and I feel sometimes desperate to just zoom forward and find myself in a better place - living my dreams. Alas, dreams are worked for. So between now and getting there...well who knows, it might take a while.

1 comment:

  1. Gym tonight. Gow! Make sulit the last month of membership. :)

    You really think you can just leave without any going away/farewell/good luck get-together?!?! Hehe! Cannot lah!