I can't believe this post is almost 6 years old!
Has it really been that long since college?!
I miss my Comm 3 professor Teresa Paula De Luna. We had the same nickname TP.
I removed the comments I put in beside the characteristics mentioned. It sounded like the awkward-growing-up-me.
*******
Comm 3, January 23, 2006. We had this sort of activity wherein you let your classmates write on a paper (sticked on to your back) the physical characteristics and inate traits (positive or negative) that they think you may have.
Some of the things that were written...i'll let you decide which are positive or negative:
MACHO PAPA
sweet voice
smart looking
chubby
nice hair
cute
bossy
chinky eyes
shy
wait! parang wala akong nabasa run na great smile...oh well...yung dentist ko na dentist din ng certain celebrities sabi niya maganda sobra ngipin ko eh ehhehe...that's good enough affirmation for me.
hmm...dont think that the activity bloated my ego...nope...it just affirmed certain things i had in mind (grins.)
oh yeah...sabi ng comm 3 prof ko...hehehe...mas cute (she used the term pogi...but i prefer cute) raw ako sa mga koreano sa mga koreanovelas...hahaha...i agree i agree...i blushed in class...argh!
okay, im going back to studying...haay...Gringo is better! I love that dog.
oh yeah...i love this statement i used to comment on kel's post..."EEE WILL SCAR US FOR LIFE."
Friday, December 9, 2011
[Repost] Love and Quantum Physics (reunited)
It seems I've forgotten my lessons in quantum mechanics. :(
*************
For some strange reason (that is yet to be pinpointed out), I realized that, I don't really know the definition of love. ON that instant of realization, I felt that, love for me...is damn AMBIGUOUS! I mean, come on, it's just so hard to tell if you are falling for someone deeply or it could just be puppy love or fling or M.U or crush or just plain and simple adoration for someone just because that person has the qualities that you look for in your partner.
YOU feel that feeling, but yet how can YOU tell if the feeling is real. Real Love. Shit. Hahaha, prattles of exhaustion (that's what i call my offline blog). OH yeah, getting on with the logic, "How can you tell that what you feel is indeed love if you are the one subjecting that feeling to scrutiny? Don't people have bias tendencies?"
If that is so, then the interpretation of the feeling may very well be "subjective" to some purpose or another.
Here are some examples that I thought of when I couldnt sleep (and still havent...but then decided to study physics 104 despite the exhaustion from today's work for fopc and now doing this)
1) Sex and Love.
How can you tell if you really LOVE someone when you are having sex? I don't know the answer to that question (Since I haven't really experienced sex. =p seriously.). But my conclusion was, you can never tell because it is extremely difficult to really say. For all you know, you may "FEEL THE LOVE" just because you wanted to find some outlet for the libido inside of you. For all you know, it is "SEX THAT YOU LOVE", but NOT the "PERSON YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH."
2) Crush vs. Love
It's really hard to tell the difference as well. How can you differentiate the two? Doesn't the feeling called "crush" initiate the feeling called "love" when you cultivate that feeling by spending time and getting more understanding for that person you "initially had a crush on"? So how do you know if it's LOVE? What if...the feeling called LOVE was actually just "PROLONGED CRUSH" feeling? IF you agree that crush is the partriach of love, then when does the offspring love come about when you let "CRUSH AND TIME have SEX together?"
If that was your argument, what if CRUSH only had SEX with TIME just because CRUSH (referring to the feeling 'crush') enjoys the sex? Then what will you call the offspring. Is it still valid to call the product of CRush and Time, LOVE?
3) Frienship and Love.
How do you differentiate Friendship between love? Some people coin the feeling for "wanting to spend continuous time with a friend" LOVE. But what if you only want to spend that amount of time with a friend just because that friend is a good friend that you LOVE spending time with? But wait, I used the term LOVE for spending time. So let's use the term Like instead because as I first stated, Love is ambiguous. So what of it? If the feeling that you FEEL is INDEED LOVE, then LOVE WILL HAVE TO BE A FUNCTION OF TIME. LOVE "HAS TO" DEPEND ON TIME.
But what if Love takes the form of the WAVE EQUATION PSI? What should be the potential energy of Love? Does it even matter? But before getting to that, we must first question, IS LOVE INDEED DEPENDENT ON TIME?
What if LOVE was SPATIALLY DEPENDENT? (ie. some long distance relationships work and some do not. but is that relationship LOVE for each other to begin with?) Then the argument that Love depends on time is questioned.
So there comes the WAVE EQUATION PSI which relates the SPATIAL DEPENDENCY and TIME DEPENDENCY plus the POTENTIAL ENERGY of the WAVE called LOVE.
CONCLUSION:
You can only understand the mechanics (wait, that's having a classical mindset)...let me reinstate that. You can only understand the PHYSICS of LOVE by using QUANTUM MECHANICS. The Spatial dependency and Time dependency of LOVE could never be explained in the classical mindset. That's why AMBIGUITY arises (because people don't know Quantum Mechanics).
LESSON:
1) DEPART from your CLASSICAL STATE OF MIND. ACCEPT THE INEVITABLE. ACCEPT THE EXPANSION OF TRUTH (the term truth here is of the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Meaning, it is not relative to any particular INERTIAL FRAME of reference).
2) Study QUANTUM MECHANICS!
=)
prattles of exhaustion update
*************
For some strange reason (that is yet to be pinpointed out), I realized that, I don't really know the definition of love. ON that instant of realization, I felt that, love for me...is damn AMBIGUOUS! I mean, come on, it's just so hard to tell if you are falling for someone deeply or it could just be puppy love or fling or M.U or crush or just plain and simple adoration for someone just because that person has the qualities that you look for in your partner.
YOU feel that feeling, but yet how can YOU tell if the feeling is real. Real Love. Shit. Hahaha, prattles of exhaustion (that's what i call my offline blog). OH yeah, getting on with the logic, "How can you tell that what you feel is indeed love if you are the one subjecting that feeling to scrutiny? Don't people have bias tendencies?"
If that is so, then the interpretation of the feeling may very well be "subjective" to some purpose or another.
Here are some examples that I thought of when I couldnt sleep (and still havent...but then decided to study physics 104 despite the exhaustion from today's work for fopc and now doing this)
1) Sex and Love.
How can you tell if you really LOVE someone when you are having sex? I don't know the answer to that question (Since I haven't really experienced sex. =p seriously.). But my conclusion was, you can never tell because it is extremely difficult to really say. For all you know, you may "FEEL THE LOVE" just because you wanted to find some outlet for the libido inside of you. For all you know, it is "SEX THAT YOU LOVE", but NOT the "PERSON YOU ARE HAVING SEX WITH."
2) Crush vs. Love
It's really hard to tell the difference as well. How can you differentiate the two? Doesn't the feeling called "crush" initiate the feeling called "love" when you cultivate that feeling by spending time and getting more understanding for that person you "initially had a crush on"? So how do you know if it's LOVE? What if...the feeling called LOVE was actually just "PROLONGED CRUSH" feeling? IF you agree that crush is the partriach of love, then when does the offspring love come about when you let "CRUSH AND TIME have SEX together?"
If that was your argument, what if CRUSH only had SEX with TIME just because CRUSH (referring to the feeling 'crush') enjoys the sex? Then what will you call the offspring. Is it still valid to call the product of CRush and Time, LOVE?
3) Frienship and Love.
How do you differentiate Friendship between love? Some people coin the feeling for "wanting to spend continuous time with a friend" LOVE. But what if you only want to spend that amount of time with a friend just because that friend is a good friend that you LOVE spending time with? But wait, I used the term LOVE for spending time. So let's use the term Like instead because as I first stated, Love is ambiguous. So what of it? If the feeling that you FEEL is INDEED LOVE, then LOVE WILL HAVE TO BE A FUNCTION OF TIME. LOVE "HAS TO" DEPEND ON TIME.
But what if Love takes the form of the WAVE EQUATION PSI? What should be the potential energy of Love? Does it even matter? But before getting to that, we must first question, IS LOVE INDEED DEPENDENT ON TIME?
What if LOVE was SPATIALLY DEPENDENT? (ie. some long distance relationships work and some do not. but is that relationship LOVE for each other to begin with?) Then the argument that Love depends on time is questioned.
So there comes the WAVE EQUATION PSI which relates the SPATIAL DEPENDENCY and TIME DEPENDENCY plus the POTENTIAL ENERGY of the WAVE called LOVE.
CONCLUSION:
You can only understand the mechanics (wait, that's having a classical mindset)...let me reinstate that. You can only understand the PHYSICS of LOVE by using QUANTUM MECHANICS. The Spatial dependency and Time dependency of LOVE could never be explained in the classical mindset. That's why AMBIGUITY arises (because people don't know Quantum Mechanics).
LESSON:
1) DEPART from your CLASSICAL STATE OF MIND. ACCEPT THE INEVITABLE. ACCEPT THE EXPANSION OF TRUTH (the term truth here is of the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Meaning, it is not relative to any particular INERTIAL FRAME of reference).
2) Study QUANTUM MECHANICS!
=)
prattles of exhaustion update
[Repost] Can two things exist in the same space at the same time?
This is a repost from one of my entries written back in college. I can't believe I actually wrote something so perplexing that I actually miss my Quantum Physics class...
************
Just now, lying in bed, the question popped into my mind. Is it possible for two things to exist in the same space at the same time? Well, immediately (since matalino ako. =p pwera usog po), I was able to think of examples that could prove that it is indeed possible.
Theory of Relativity.
From here on, let me just clarify that I am NOT a geek or a nerd. God just gave me a mind that wanders off to a lot of not so relevant things. So getting on, yes, with the theory of relativity...If you consider it as basis in proving your hypothesis that indeed two things can exist in the same space and time; then it can be possible. With the concept of time dilation and length contraction, somehow, as an example, let's say in an observer 1's frame a person b moving at the speed of light can be at a certain position x. But with respect to person b, he may already be at position x+1. Now, if both 1 and b hold clocks to verify their time...(presumption is that both clocks were set to the same time before b moved at the speed of light) then person b may see that the current time is y while the observer sees that in his clock it's y+1. Now, the hypothesis may not exactly be proven, but what I wished to point out in the said example is that, person b sees that he has moved distance x+1 and the time it took him to move that distance is y. On the other hand the observer sees that person b has moved a distance x given the time y+1. But, with respect to the time, the same amount of time has elapsed for observer 1 and person b. So, in the example, person b exists in a space and time different from what observer 1 has seen. So, for their respective frames, it's like they are in separate realities....so if that can be possible, then, it can be possible as well for the hypothesis to be true...it could just be that I have thought of an inappropriate example to prove the hypothesis
EEE.
Another example I thought of was the possibility in some waveform graphs to see two voltage values in a given time. Take for example the square wave. Well I cited that as a means for you to visualize the point im getting at. But, then again, a square wave, to date, is still only a theory. No machine or device can generate a perfect square wave, so the existence of two voltage values in a given time is then lacking when we think of the square wave. But, then, certain circuits can let you achieve this. If you construct a circuit that has x voltage at a certain time, but then, when the circuit switches off, and given the right capacitor (charged very fast) and the right polarity, then in the short instance (i.e 0, 0+ and 0-) the voltage can then be -x. So, then, when you probe it, you get a sharp edge (right corner). Like at time 0 you get a sudden change from 10 to -10 volts. So you have two voltage values at time 0.
Hahaha. Although...those are just what I think based on what I have learned over the course of 4++ years in college.
I want to know other instances, or instances that come close to allowing for the hypothesis to happen...I mean, like sa sinabi kong example with the capacitor etc etc...I have not tried it yet, pero possibleng may rise time or fall time pa so, hindi talaga siya right corner yung itsura sa graph...pero di kasi ako sure kung kaya nga ba talaga magawang ganun...or mapaabot lang malapit sa ganun na right corner...
"How about you? Got any thoughts on this? Feel free to share them! hehehe...I want to know other instances, or instances that come close to allowing for the hypothesis to happen. Or perhaps, you can site other fields of study or something that comes close to that instance or achieves the said instance."
haaay...finally, i can sleep. Another thing I managed to get off my mind.
************
************
Just now, lying in bed, the question popped into my mind. Is it possible for two things to exist in the same space at the same time? Well, immediately (since matalino ako. =p pwera usog po), I was able to think of examples that could prove that it is indeed possible.
Theory of Relativity.
From here on, let me just clarify that I am NOT a geek or a nerd. God just gave me a mind that wanders off to a lot of not so relevant things. So getting on, yes, with the theory of relativity...If you consider it as basis in proving your hypothesis that indeed two things can exist in the same space and time; then it can be possible. With the concept of time dilation and length contraction, somehow, as an example, let's say in an observer 1's frame a person b moving at the speed of light can be at a certain position x. But with respect to person b, he may already be at position x+1. Now, if both 1 and b hold clocks to verify their time...(presumption is that both clocks were set to the same time before b moved at the speed of light) then person b may see that the current time is y while the observer sees that in his clock it's y+1. Now, the hypothesis may not exactly be proven, but what I wished to point out in the said example is that, person b sees that he has moved distance x+1 and the time it took him to move that distance is y. On the other hand the observer sees that person b has moved a distance x given the time y+1. But, with respect to the time, the same amount of time has elapsed for observer 1 and person b. So, in the example, person b exists in a space and time different from what observer 1 has seen. So, for their respective frames, it's like they are in separate realities....so if that can be possible, then, it can be possible as well for the hypothesis to be true...it could just be that I have thought of an inappropriate example to prove the hypothesis
EEE.
Another example I thought of was the possibility in some waveform graphs to see two voltage values in a given time. Take for example the square wave. Well I cited that as a means for you to visualize the point im getting at. But, then again, a square wave, to date, is still only a theory. No machine or device can generate a perfect square wave, so the existence of two voltage values in a given time is then lacking when we think of the square wave. But, then, certain circuits can let you achieve this. If you construct a circuit that has x voltage at a certain time, but then, when the circuit switches off, and given the right capacitor (charged very fast) and the right polarity, then in the short instance (i.e 0, 0+ and 0-) the voltage can then be -x. So, then, when you probe it, you get a sharp edge (right corner). Like at time 0 you get a sudden change from 10 to -10 volts. So you have two voltage values at time 0.
Hahaha. Although...those are just what I think based on what I have learned over the course of 4++ years in college.
I want to know other instances, or instances that come close to allowing for the hypothesis to happen...I mean, like sa sinabi kong example with the capacitor etc etc...I have not tried it yet, pero possibleng may rise time or fall time pa so, hindi talaga siya right corner yung itsura sa graph...pero di kasi ako sure kung kaya nga ba talaga magawang ganun...or mapaabot lang malapit sa ganun na right corner...
"How about you? Got any thoughts on this? Feel free to share them! hehehe...I want to know other instances, or instances that come close to allowing for the hypothesis to happen. Or perhaps, you can site other fields of study or something that comes close to that instance or achieves the said instance."
haaay...finally, i can sleep. Another thing I managed to get off my mind.
************
[Random] Obsessive Compulsive
My OC-ness has struck.
I've been trying to look for a way to migrate my livejournal to blogger, but i've decided to just read through my livejournal entries from recent to old and copy them over to blogger - each and every entry.
I'll take this opportunity to assess myself based on my previous entry.
As history teachers will tell you, some of the best lessons are learned from the past. You understand the past to become prepared for the future.
But, that's just me talking bullsh*t. It's just my OC-ness to want everything in one place. Like the pictures i've uploaded in Multiply, Facebook and Flickr. Somewhere in the back of my head, there's this nagging sensation to want to integrate them all in one place. But that's a lot of data to migrate and I don't think I will ever find a time to actually complete doing so. So, to relieve the nagging sensation, I need to do this!
I've been trying to look for a way to migrate my livejournal to blogger, but i've decided to just read through my livejournal entries from recent to old and copy them over to blogger - each and every entry.
I'll take this opportunity to assess myself based on my previous entry.
As history teachers will tell you, some of the best lessons are learned from the past. You understand the past to become prepared for the future.
But, that's just me talking bullsh*t. It's just my OC-ness to want everything in one place. Like the pictures i've uploaded in Multiply, Facebook and Flickr. Somewhere in the back of my head, there's this nagging sensation to want to integrate them all in one place. But that's a lot of data to migrate and I don't think I will ever find a time to actually complete doing so. So, to relieve the nagging sensation, I need to do this!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
CH51: Baking in an oven
I've been practicing yoga for about 5 months now. Although, I don't attend the class as regularly as I used to before I started swimming.
My issue with regards to my tight hamstrings - well, they're still tight.But flexibility wise, I should say there is definitely a stark improvement. Well, aside from losing weight and helping with the so-called "meditation" aspect. I think yoga helped instill discipline in me to avoid eating the unhealthy. Well, at least partly moderate it.
When I started around June-July, I remember waking up every day for a week straight craving for Yong Tau Foo. I only wanted to eat greens. And I sometimes just only eat an apple for dinner. Hahaha, I spent two weeks waking up with a grumbling stomach and tasting acid. Thankfully, I didnt get any ulcer like what my mom always fear would happen if I don't eat properly.
Hahaha, being the youngest, well, I'm spoiled. Which is why, in a way, moving to Singapore was also healthy for me. I can't remember when was the last time I shouted profanities stuck in traffic. Or going on a road-rage when somebody cuts me and drives slower in front of me. I would typically overtake them and shout out load in the car "Eat dirt bitch!" Hahaha, I'm such an offensive driver.
Haay, that reminds me of how much I miss driving.
Anyway, getting back to the story.
Since I got free Bikram sessions from my membership in True Yoga, I decided to start using them. The rule is of course, once you're in the room, you can't leave until the class finishes.
I like the feeling of sweating while working out. There's no other opportunity for me to sweat. So it's a leisure for me.
So earlier in class, some noobs who apparently did not listen to the instructor's instruction about needing to stay in the room, after the 21st pose out of the 26th, decides to pack up and leave.
The instructor then tells them that rules are rules and if you leave now, then you destroy the discipline you should be starting about committing and following through. One girl tells the instructor that she badly needs to pee, but then the instructor is quite firm on the rules, so with everyone staring at them, they decided to just sit it out.
So when they did, I started observing them. Fucking liars. They did the remaining poses.
Bikram. If you can't take the heat, just sit there and wait.
Another nonsensical post to relieve the stress of completing my activities in advance.
CH50: Just like that
And just like that, another casualty.
Source: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jFKT9wY2DNMD2MM2n1vUijGsCm8w?docId=2911c623a58241419c5dc2d661eebe9d
Source: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jFKT9wY2DNMD2MM2n1vUijGsCm8w?docId=2911c623a58241419c5dc2d661eebe9d
MANILA, Philippines (AP) — The Philippine government says China has executed a Filipino man convicted on drug trafficking charges despite an appeal for clemency from President Benigno Aquino III.
Vice President Jejomar Binay said the 35-year-old man was put to death by lethal injection Thursday in southern Guangxi province.
He was arrested in 2008 at Guilin International Airport while trying to smuggle 3.3 pounds (1.5 kilograms) of heroin from Malaysia.
Smuggling more than 1.76 ounces (50 grams) of heroin or other drugs is punishable by death in China.
Although China went ahead with the execution despite Aquino's appeal for clemency, government officials have said they respect China's judicial system and that the execution would not hurt bilateral relations
Justice is served.
I wish that the day will come when justice is served as efficiently in the Philippines as it is in China. Not to step on any one's toes, but, I am pro death penalty.
People in the Philippines question the effectiveness of death penalty - primarily because the justice system is flawed. People contradict that for most cases, only the poor will be subject to execution as there is a lot of room for bribe and corruption for those with money to escape this finality.
But, my opinion stands that the best deterrent for heinous crimes is death. The Philippines is not like the first world countries we see featured with the mindset that jail sentences are meant to rehabilitate the convicted - to become contributors to society when their sentences are finished.
The Philippines - Metro Manila especially - is in my opinion, over populated. I don't see any point in giving second chances to people who have taken the life of others and circulated/trafficked drugs that ruined families. It's always an eye for an eye. We're over populated in the metro, no one will miss troublemakers.
The Philippines' lawmakers and government's hesitation and failure to act will continue to mire the people into desolation. (Insert RH bill plug) As the population of the poor grows, the number of uneducated grows, the number of "popular" but ineffective lawmakers is retained.
Time moves on. History is recorded. Trash is recycled.
CH49: On the ledge
The other day, I tweeted the following:
- Accidntlly locked myself out. LOL. Had to jump to the ledge and go into my room through the window hahaha super exciting!
#andstupid - Thank God we only live on the 4th floor
- i forgot to mention that the distance from the condo's ledge to my window's ledge is about the same height as i am.
#upperbodystrength :p
For some weird reason, i unconsciously locked my bedroom when I took a shower. Thankfully, I had clothes on me and a towel when I went to the toilet. Otherwise, I would have performed my stunt with only a towel around my waist.
My initial reaction when I found out that I locked myself out was laugh. It was an absurd situation to be in. I didn't have my phone with me, and I just literally only had the clothes on my back. For a brief second, a hypothetical event flashed through my mind about spending the whole day without money and just walking about the condo, or even going out to Balestier road (where a lot of budget hotels are) and try to be a beggar for a day.
But, I snapped out of the daydream with the thought of having some activities lined up for work. Commitments that shouldn't be missed! So I went to the door of the landlord and tried to knock and knock hoping that they were still in and had their spare key with them. After realizing that they already left, I look through the toilet and see the window open (to let the steam out of the shower).
I knew then what I had to do.
I dressed up and went to my door and wore my slippers.
I looked out the window of the toilet and saw that I had to jump down a distance about the same height as my foot to shoulder.
I only had about two feet of width to stand on.
But weirdly enough, my usual scare of heights especially when I'm close to the edge without any railings didn't come through.
I walked the ledge to my room, opened the window, pushed myself up.
As I didn't have any foothold to push myself up further through the room, I had to grab hold of my bed to have that grounding I needed to get through the window.
Seriously, I had a really good time doing it.
It reminded me of the adventure I had in Rayleigh (Thailand) where I climbed up and hiked through a mountain which was very muddy after the rain (mostly by myself, aside from the 1 or two foreigners I came across the muddy adventure).
I realized as well how much I've gotten stronger and fitter since I started doing yoga and swimming. I don't think I would have accomplished the same feat as effortlessly as I did if my body was in the same state it was in pre-June of this year (ahem. 84kg?! would you believe? now i'm around 70-71kg)
It also made me realize that when put in a situation of "must-do" - when you give yourself time to be reluctant and hesitant about doing it - then, well, most likely, you'll end up wasting time contemplating on things. It was quite refreshing "Just doing it." And this is where I will segue, yes, I must skydive when I go to NZ!
----
Coincidentally, the night prior to the event, I was entertaining the thought of locking my window after reading a Facebook status of my friend - about how someone was trying to get into her house by breaking off the window grills to her room. I was LOL-ing when I read that she scared off the would-be-thief by looking at the window and asking, "Sino yan?"
It's Christmas time in our beloved Philippines.
If I had closed my window, then maybe I would have resorted to breaking off my door.
If I had closed my window, then maybe I would have resorted to breaking off my door.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
CH48: Missing the stress
Work rant:
I've been thinking about how stress-free my work is.
I tell my friends when they ask how I'm doing, and I tell them, I'm only exerting 10% or less of what I used to exert when I was working with IBM.
Well, it's not really fair to compare both considering that IBM was more of a support work with some projects and implementation works on the side; while here in Infineon, I'm more of internal focused more on Solution Manager.
I'm at the crossroad. The position I'm in would be a great position to be in if I was already thinking of settling down - and growing within the company. But, I'm not sure that's where I want to be in right now. The fixed work schedule is great to be honest. I get to swim, do the things I like doing. And there's not much 'work' excuse to say not to have fun.
But then again, is it right for me to be here right now? Or is it a matter of being too early?
Like I told my mom last night, I will have to think about it after I come back from NZ. After all, if I didnt move into the company, then I don't think I would have been allowed 18 days of vacation.
Yes, it might seem like I was only using the company to get what I want - but. hmmm.
To elaborate more on it - aside from not being stressed - I think that I'm not learning as much as I want to learn. It's more of my teammates learning from me. I wouldn't call it a parasitic relationship. They're great people to work with and I feel that I'm appreciated and I'm important to the team.
Although, what irks me is the fact that they are the "System Owners" of the SAP Solution Manager of the company - yet they have very little technical know-how on managing systems. They have almost no background prior to being system owners on how to handle and manage SAP systems. Solution Manager being a central aspect of the SAP landscape - well, it requires a degree of technicality in order to operate and maintain. Yes - that's where I came in.
But, sometimes - I feel like an actual consultant who is an "enabler" for the recognized system owners. So, yes, I feel like, they are getting all the spotlight etc. There was one instance where the sytem owner asked me to create some slides to update the colleagues in EU on the progress of our activities. I was under the assumption that I was the one who was going to present. But it turns out, he was planning on presenting it all along. He used the words I put in my slide. He used all my slides! During our meeting even - when he couldn't find the right phrase to use for his idea - he even asked me to help him come up with the right words to say?! Well, I opted not to. I just solved the issue he was having a hard time explaining.
So yes. right now, after I come back from NZ - my stand is pretty much 60-40 in favor of moving out. But, it's more of a matter of exploring other opportunities. It's like hook and bait. Just to see how much i can demand. I won't be jumping on any offer the instant they're offered. Job security wise - I'm secured here - unlike in IBM where there was a risk of being relieved given that the project was at an end.
Blah Blah
I've been thinking about how stress-free my work is.
I tell my friends when they ask how I'm doing, and I tell them, I'm only exerting 10% or less of what I used to exert when I was working with IBM.
Well, it's not really fair to compare both considering that IBM was more of a support work with some projects and implementation works on the side; while here in Infineon, I'm more of internal focused more on Solution Manager.
But then again, is it right for me to be here right now? Or is it a matter of being too early?
Like I told my mom last night, I will have to think about it after I come back from NZ. After all, if I didnt move into the company, then I don't think I would have been allowed 18 days of vacation.
Yes, it might seem like I was only using the company to get what I want - but. hmmm.
To elaborate more on it - aside from not being stressed - I think that I'm not learning as much as I want to learn. It's more of my teammates learning from me. I wouldn't call it a parasitic relationship. They're great people to work with and I feel that I'm appreciated and I'm important to the team.
Although, what irks me is the fact that they are the "System Owners" of the SAP Solution Manager of the company - yet they have very little technical know-how on managing systems. They have almost no background prior to being system owners on how to handle and manage SAP systems. Solution Manager being a central aspect of the SAP landscape - well, it requires a degree of technicality in order to operate and maintain. Yes - that's where I came in.
But, sometimes - I feel like an actual consultant who is an "enabler" for the recognized system owners. So, yes, I feel like, they are getting all the spotlight etc. There was one instance where the sytem owner asked me to create some slides to update the colleagues in EU on the progress of our activities. I was under the assumption that I was the one who was going to present. But it turns out, he was planning on presenting it all along. He used the words I put in my slide. He used all my slides! During our meeting even - when he couldn't find the right phrase to use for his idea - he even asked me to help him come up with the right words to say?! Well, I opted not to. I just solved the issue he was having a hard time explaining.
So yes. right now, after I come back from NZ - my stand is pretty much 60-40 in favor of moving out. But, it's more of a matter of exploring other opportunities. It's like hook and bait. Just to see how much i can demand. I won't be jumping on any offer the instant they're offered. Job security wise - I'm secured here - unlike in IBM where there was a risk of being relieved given that the project was at an end.
Blah Blah
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
CH47: White Noise
What's wrong about not missing the Philippines?
What's wrong about not wanting to invest in a place I'm not sure I'll retire in?
After seeing the viral coke-video that's been making rounds in the social media sites, I couldn't help but feel disconnected. I'm an OFW in the sense, but my reasons are different than theirs.
From the video, it seems to me that it pains them to actually have to work in a foreign land away from their family. But in my case, I'm actually having a great time.
Perhaps, it's in the structure of my family. All 5 of us are in different countries - covering 4 timezones. I'm part of the next-gen OFW - the generation that is making the conscious choice to live and work abroad.
To live and work abroad not for anyone else's sake but my own.
I like living and working in Singapore. It's actually refreshing to be free of the traffic jams and pollution. I like not being surrounded by noise from the media. I like being away from the saturated news and the distracting billboards. I like how my shoes do not seem to get dirty - contrary to how dirty it gets just by walking through the car park to the mall. I like how safe it is here. I like the accessibility of the pools and how convenient it is here to actually make a healthy living and adapt a healthy lifestyle.
I like so many things here in Singapore that I'm sure I can find elsewhere abroad - when and if I choose my next destination.
But, with so many things I like - does that mean I hate the Philippines?
With regards to the questions I initially asked:
- What's wrong about not missing Filipino food?
- What's wrong about not missing the Philippines?
- What's wrong about not wanting to invest in a place I'm not sure I'll retire in?
I left the Philippines without any notion of what to expect I'll turn out to be. In my mind, I expected to be the same way I was. To love the same things I was used to loving. To be the same person that I am - or was.
But, as I stay in Singapore more and more, the more I realize, that perhaps, the Philippines is not really the place I want to grow old and die in. I don't miss Filipino food nor crave for them. When I went to the Philippines twice, I never really craved to order for anything. My mom and I ate at our usual eateries - Sumo Sam or Cyma. The only thing I miss in the Philippines are my mom, dog and friends/relatives - oh and driving. My family is all around the world, it's hard to say the Philippines is still home.
I don't miss Chicken Joy. I don't know exactly what to miss in the Philippines, that's why I'm using the context I usually hear from people. I don't know what to miss because, in my head, there's nothing in the coming future for me to miss in it.
People grow up and move on. At this point, I've come to accept that if the time comes for me to apply for permanent residency or a migrant visa - that yes, I'll go for it. I'm not saying that I'll go for it here in Singapore- maybe NZ or somewhere in Europe?
Which is to say - I'm ready to give up my Philippine citizenship.
The thought having already encroached itself, actually makes me defensive when I get the questions like the ones above. Is it so wrong to already consider rescinding my citizenship?
In the apathy I've grown to and have come to enshroud myself with, there's nothing wrong with the thought. Given that the world is coming to terms with globalization, what is citizenship or home country?
Patriotism and nationalism are dead to me.
People live their lives to their own ideals. People are given the free will - the freedom - to choose who they want to be. People do things to make them happy (bound by ethics and morality?). People have the choice to choose.
If for some, they feel that patriotism and nationalism make people better people. Then that's them - not me.
Monday, November 28, 2011
WB3: World Bubble Entry 3
Let's get started again with the word bubble entries. Coming from my previous blog, I mentioned there how sometimes, a word just pops into my head because of some instance.
Last night, while I was on my way out of the condominium block, I heard the stirring of the branches caused by a strong wind. The first word that came to mind was Cacophony.
I tested out sentence, the cacophony of the stirring branches - or something like that. I knew that the word could be used in that context, but I wasnt sure if the word based on its meaning was correctly used. So when I tried to search up the word, below was the search result:
ca·coph·o·ny/kəˈkäfənē/
Which makes the sentence I had in mind - wrong in the context I wanted to use it for.
This made me think about how my English is getting rusty. I think I need to find another good book to read to refresh myself.
Last night, while I was on my way out of the condominium block, I heard the stirring of the branches caused by a strong wind. The first word that came to mind was Cacophony.
I tested out sentence, the cacophony of the stirring branches - or something like that. I knew that the word could be used in that context, but I wasnt sure if the word based on its meaning was correctly used. So when I tried to search up the word, below was the search result:
ca·coph·o·ny/kəˈkäfənē/
| Noun: |
|
Which makes the sentence I had in mind - wrong in the context I wanted to use it for.
This made me think about how my English is getting rusty. I think I need to find another good book to read to refresh myself.
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